After the Fact
by madamjenna
Summary: [spoilers for episode four and onward] Pidge dreams of her lost family. Shiro reminds her she's not alone.


**After the Fact**

* * *

" _Katie? Katie!"_

 _The small, messy messy-haired teen turned to face her. She'd forgotten how similar they looked to one another. His face was stricken with worry. His mouth opened as he began to speak._

The green paladin's eyelids fluttered as the spine-chilling noise of the Altean Castle's alarm screamed in her ears, disrupting her dream. She rolled over in bed, pulling a pillow over her head. _Allura, no! This is not the time for a drill!_ She forced herself back to sleep, trying to push back tears as the remnants of her dream returned.

" _Katie, I'm scared!"_

 _Matt? Matt! Where are you? I'm here! I'm here, Matt! Her voiced echoed in the cavernous ship that she had come to recognize as one of Zarkon's fleet._

 _He didn't respond. His eyes were vacant, staring through her as if she weren't there._

Her eyelids fluttered again. She struggled to return to her dream. Her heart beat against her chest, each palpitation faster than the one before.

 _He was crying. Large, crocodile tears raced down his cheeks. She'd never seen her brother cry._

" _Katie! Help us, Katie!" He called, his voice breaking._

She bit her lip until she tasted blood, both wanting to will away the vision and continue to watch. She couldn't wake yet, not yet.

" _Don't you care, Katie? Don't tell me you've already forgotten?"_

Now her father appeared in her mind's eye. One hand on her brother's shoulder, the other extended out towards her.

" _Why aren't you looking? Find us, Katie!" The two men blurred before her. They faded, their voices growing weaker, quieter. The familiar noise of Allura's alarm drowned them out._

The castle's alarm was impossible to block out. Pidge Gunderson tossed in her bed, finally rolling off the side and hitting the ground with a heavy thump. Her eyes burst open on impact as she found herself bathed in the alarm's red light. Her brother and father were gone and she was alone in her barrack, lying flat on her back. She watched the red light flicker, her mind far from Zarkon, Voltron, and her role as the green paladin. For a fleeting second she wasn't Pidge Gunderson, but Katie Holt.

It took a moment for to recognize where she was and to realize that someone was calling her name through the thin castle walls.

"Pidge!"

Her thoughts cleared as the sound of her fellow paladins chorusing her name registered. The alarm ceased almost instantly overhead and her room returned to its normal color.

 _The drill must be over,_ she thought bitterly. _Allura's gonna be angry._

"PIDGE!"

Her thoughts of Allura scattered almost instantly as she picked out Shiro's voice among the others. She'd always felt the closest to him, seeing him more in a fatherly light than a sibling (as she thought of the others). He sounded concerned.

Now the tears really did fall as she thought of Shiro and her crew, her other family. She thought of their faces when she'd first told them she wanted to leave to find her real family. Shiro's crestfallen face, Hunk's frown, Lance's surprise and Allura's disappointment… She felt the tears run down her cheeks in salty streaks. Her shoulders shook as she silently sobbed.

She felt guilty for thinking of her blood family again, especially when she knew her focus would be the key to stopping Zarkon. Though she missed them terribly, she knew it was selfish to have ignored the drill in favor of dreaming of her family.

 _What if Zarkon_ had _come? I can't be brave for my family…I can't be selfless for my teammates…_

The automatic door shook as said teammates threw their weight against it, clearly thinking the worst had befallen her from her lack of response.

"Pidge! Pidge answer me!" Shiro.

"Come on Pidge, open up!" Lance and a murmur of agreement from Keith.

 _I'm being ridiculous,_ Pidge found herself thinking as she wiped at the tears with the palm of her hand. She stood, fighting back the sadness that overwhelmed her as she thought of her dream and family. _This is_ not _how a Voltron paladin should be acting._

Fighting back further tears, she stood, hiccupping. Quickly she put her passcode into the keypad by her door. The steel door slid open and she almost laughed as she watched Keith, Hunk, and Lance and fall through, landing one on top of the other in front of her.

"Pidge!"

Guilt washed over the smallest paladin as she watched the worried expression fall away from her team's captain. Shiro stepped over the other's reaching her in three quick strides. Seeing her face, her raw cheeks and red eyes, he opened his arms and she fell into his embrace.

"We were so worried," Shiro said as he ruffled her hair with one hand and wrapped the other around her shoulders. "We were having a drill and you didn't even show up."

"Yeah!" Keith added as he rolled out from beneath Hunk and Lance. "We expect that kind of thing from Lance…" He paused for a moment as Lance tried to argue. "But not you."

"I'm so sorry," she whimpered, her voice muffled by the fabric of Shiro's shirt, "I didn't mean to worry you guys."

"There's no reason to be sorry," Shiro replied as he moved his hand in soothing circles across the small of her back, "Like Keith said, it's not usual for you to miss a drill. I probably shouldn't have jumped to conclusions…" He trailed off, blushing.

Despite his kind words, Pidge trembled in his arms. Shiro sighed, his brow creased with worry. He turned his head attention to his other three crew members.

Catching his eyes, Keith stood, pulling Lance and Hunk to their feet as well.

"Come on guys," Keith said, steering them towards the door, "Breakfast is going to get cold."

Hunk, seeing that Pidge was no longer in any immediate danger, took that as his cue to head for the kitchen. Lance paused, one foot in the room, the other out.

Seeing this, Shiro gave a small nod to the blue paladin. With a "feel better, Pidge" as his goodbye, Lance allowed Keith to lead him away from the room, the doors shutting with a soft _thunk_ behind them.

* * *

Once he was sure they were alone, Shiro broke the embrace with a soft, teasing smile, "I was waiting for this."

"Hm?"

"The break," he replied as he led Pidge over to her bed, "You've seemed so tense these last few days and I knew it was only a matter of time…" Seeing her blank expression, Shiro chuckled, "Stress…anxiety…depression…that negative energy has got to go somewhere right?"

"I guess," Pidge replied sourly.

He sat down on the end, patting the place beside him. Pidge sat beside him and placed her head on his shoulder. They sat in silence for a moment, listening to one another breathe. They had only known each other for such a short time and yet, Shiro knew her so well. It was amazing. He never pushed her, just offered up his shoulder and waited for when he needed her.

" _Your brother and father would be proud of you, Katie."_

He was the first one to notice. Shiro had been the first one to realize that she wasn't really a boy named Pidge…she was Katie, the youngest Holt child and only daughter. He'd seen through her ruse almost immediately and though she pushed him away… he'd been there for her, waiting with open arms until she was ready to forgive him.

"You don't need to tell me now," Shiro continued, his tone soothing and warm. She was always struck but his kindness, despite his (at times) frightening appearance.

"But, I want you to know I'm hear when you're ready."

She nodded.

"Promise me though, if it gets bad…if you're _unsafe_ …" he paused, as he took her chin and lifted it so their eyes met. His expression was stern, paternal and concerned, " _Promise_ me you'll come to me, okay Pidge?"

She nodded again, always thankful that he never called her Katie. She hadn't been Katie since she'd been accepted into the Garrison.

Shiro smiled. He squeezed her shoulder kindly.

"Okay then, you wanna go and get some breakfast? We better hurry, you know Hunk…"

"Sure."

"Great, I'm sure the others are worried about you…" He stood, turning towards the door.

"Shiro," she whispered as she wiped away the remaining tears with a balled first. She waited until his attention was back on her. "Shiro, thank you."

She returned his kind smile.


End file.
